An Unwillingness to Settle

Little by little I’m developing an unwillingness to settle for less than I deserve. No, it’s not just about being stubborn or unwilling to compromise. But there are just things in my life that I value too much to take whatever I can get.

One of those things is a relationship with God. Last Sunday’s service was led by the kids who had just completed vacation Bible School. Their message was “Fear not, God is with us!” This is so true and we often forget. I enjoyed that sermon as it was so much…from 2 yr olds to 15 yr olds they were all enthusiastic and smiling. I’m glad that at least for now I’ve found a church where I can be comfortable and start to build a relationship. Hopefully the fellowship there will allow me to grow even more and be solid. But just because church is walking distance doens’t mean I’m going to stick with it for convenience’s sake. It wouldn’t be fair or useful for this relationship-building process to take place in an environment where I wasn’t comfortable or feeling welcome but that I stuck with just because it was down the street. Just not willing to settle.

So yeah, I’m unwilling to settle and I don’t feel guilty about it either. Yeah, I said it. As for the personal future? NO way I’m settling there. Kingly treatment from me deserves Queenly treatment toward me and I’m not going to allow anything else into my life. Compromise is for where you want to buy a house, how many children you’d want, and which state or country you’d want to live in. But when it comes to treatment, respect, trust, honesty, communication – a RELATIONSHIP – I am not settling. I deserve good things and the person I choose to be with deserves those good things too yeah. I shall share Shumpy’s man formula:

A male you know who sees you with a bag and doesn’t offer to help or only helps after you’ve asked = ASS
A male who makes moves and mumblings to help on his own but actually does nothing = ASS
A male who helps only after being asked = HALF ASSED
A male who says “let me have that bag” & takes it no ques asked = MAN

Do not be confused or bamboozled. I defy anyone to even whisper crap about feminism. Real women appreciate real men.

…that chick is up on the quantitative analysis and she hit that man formula spot on! Love her mucho mucho.

Another thing is I’m unwilling to settle on is my professional future. I simply cannot continue to ram my many-faceted self into this square hole of the legal profession. Now’s the time when I’m seeing that I can take from basic lawyering and use to be a good lawyer. But otherwise? It’s definitely time to start carving out a path of my own instead of being uncomfortably hemmed into the conventional lawyer mold. Part of this unwillingness to settle with my professional future is also releasing myself of the fear of not being successful in the prescribed way. I and God alone know my heart so I’ll have to follow it; other paths have just proved miserable and full of trip ups and falls. Time to start cultivating my thoughts and ideas in good soil – amongst good and encouraging people and situations that will lift me up and support. And the first seeds I’m throwing out are towards God for his guidance and light…once they take root in His eyes I know they’re destined to grow strong and well rooted. Amen.

______________________________________
mood: sad…Air Jamaica just got sold…to low budget Spirit. Ick.
sounds: the TV and dripping faucet

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Comments
3 Responses to “An Unwillingness to Settle”
  1. Shumpy says:

    Great blog! Settling is a mental disease. Very debilitating but I'm glad you've got it figured out (& I'm glad it isn't catching or you'd have to dump me). Well I'm getting my meds and being cured hallelujah!Faith and praise is a huge part of who I am and I'm glad you are seeking that connectedness. Thx for the quote & citation. Love u too.

  2. AliceClare says:

    It is a mental disease! I don't think you had it still…that's a whole other thing but no I don't think you had the Settling Disorder!

  3. PREACH it Ren– stick to your guns chile.

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