The Lessons of Dirty Dancing

What is it about this movie that gets people, especially girls? “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” Wheee!! I love it! As I listen to the final scene again – having rewound it – I always get a warm feeling and I’m pretty sure a knowing smile crosses my face. The essence of the movie is so simple and sweet – boy meets girl who’s supposed to be “better” than him, they have obstacles that they overcome and in the end he fights for her and claims her as his own. It’s this fighting for bit that gets me every time and lately I’m wondering if it really is something that’s confined to this or any other movie.

Is it unrealistic to want a guy who will fight for me? Yeah, yeah a knockdown thing would be nice too but not even that. More and more I’m beginning to accept that I want and need for myself and that includes someone who’ll balance my idealism, occasional lack of spontaneity, and often too-high very high and often rigid goals (I’m continuously told that I’m too hard on myself but I can’t accept that yet). But I’d also like someone who’s willing to claim me and do what it takes to make sure I and other folks know that. Honestly, this doesn’t seem like overreaching. For most of my previous relationships I feel as if I’ve done most of the work and taken on a huge emotional burden of ensuring that things succeeded. Well jeez, how has that worked out for me? One crushed heart that’s still under construction and a healthy fear of relationships and doing all the work of getting to know smaddy. I know that I can be solo but I prefer companionship. And no a dog or some other pet does not a real companion make. So I really don’t know what the future holds but I hope & pray that God sorts things out soon because I’m kinda getting impatient/anxious.

A friend shared some advice from her dad: find a guy who loves you MORE than you love him. At first blush this seemed selfish to me – love and relationships are supposed to be equal; that’s what spelled nurturing and success. But the more I thought about it and heard of friends’ recent experiences I realize that yeah, it’s not a bad standard to have. It seems as if it’s a crucial component of assuring his attention and commitment so long as you don’t abuse it. I know that I will pull my weight and am willing to treat Dude X like a King but is it too much to be treated like a Queen in return?

There’s also something to be said for a guy who treats as good as or better than your parents do. That characteristic seems to be a little harder to find and “demand” but boy does it sound good.

I guess we’re all looking for reassurance, no?


mood: contemplative
sounds: some baby show in TV and the fountain

One Response to “The Lessons of Dirty Dancing”
  1. Shumpy says:

    Dirty Dancing does NOT exist but I def think – despite my experience and others' experiences – that some element of that must exist. I think if you are naturally nurturing and loving like I am, the guy must love you more. I think it is a must. I don't think anyone can treat you as good as your parents do, def not like my mom, but they should make valiant efforts. As long as the women, like you said, are willing to make him their king, then YES we deserve to be queens.

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