u can’t help who you love. but…

To all my girlfriends out there, or to guys who know a girl who’s been ‘caught up’, please share:

I know that your heart doesn’t necessarily allow you to use your head when it comes to love. But please don’t take chances with your life for anyone at any time….it’s not worth it. Last weekend, a beautiful young lady I went to college with was executed – one shot to the back of the head after being tied up and having a sheet was thrown over her head – in an apparent robbery attempt. That in itself was shocking but also odd because her boyfriend was with her at the time and although he too was tied up, had not a single scratch or bruise. But as details emerge it has become clear that her boyfriend, who she’d just moved in with, was dealing weed out of the apartment while she was at work. It seems that in order to send a message to him for some drug-related issue, she was killed in cold blood.

Now, she was an intelligent, outgoing, helpful, energetic, beautiful person. She was two years ahead of me at college and we were not friends but I always remember her personality and believe me, I felt it to my core when a mutual friend called with the news on Sunday (yes, Mothers’ Day). She was doing a lot with her life and for others. She was not jus’ another black chick stuck in the hood with no hope or will to get out…she had really carved a path for herself in the world that was admired and respected. But then she fell in love, and by accounts of her friends she was in a state of bliss, she took a chance on a guy that cost her her life. Perhaps that euphoria clouded her judgment a bit and allowed her the leeway to overlook her boyfriend’s flaws – which on the surface is good because with love comes a lot of ugly and disappointing things but we can’t overlook all flaws jus’ so…there has to be some balance. I think she overlooked too much and the cost is immeasurable.

Even in such a tragic and brutal end to a beautiful life there is a lesson for us all; an example of what to do as well as what not to do. Live your life well, with dignity and grace and respect for anyone who you come into contact with. Work hard for what you want and toward your goals. This is how people will remember you when you’re gone. And even though you can’t help who you love, sometimes turn off your heart and think carefully with your head…it could literally save your life.

One Response to “u can’t help who you love. but…”
  1. Anonymous says:

    OMG. OMG. OMG. It is truly scary…a bitter shot of reality. Makes me stop, and think. I hope all responsible pay, and pay dearly for the pain her friends and family are now experiencing, and for the loss of a life. Haunted by ‘what could have been’ for her life, and all the lost possbilities of someone no more or less deserving than myself.I try to keep my eyes open, and not be blinded by love but I’m sure she thought she was doing the same. I can only encourage myself and others to keep all eyes, ears open, and SPEAK UP if you have a concern, and GET OUT if you are uncomfortable in any way, shape, or form. SR-L

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